I think my mum has a kind of ana attitude.
She's thin... I mean, she's 50 and she has the body of a 30-year-old or less. She doesn't eat much, and when she does she counts calories and only eats vegetables or fruit or low-fat foods. She always thinks she's fat, even if she's thin! She has a fantastic body, and I'm very gealous of her! I love her, she's my mum and she's also my friend... she's fantastic, but she's also the reason why I am overweight.
When I was younger, when I was 12-13 years old I was slim, I was the thinnest girl in my group of friends. But she kept saying I was fat. She told me to eat less, to eat healthier.
But then I had that rebellious period during my adolescence. When an adult told me what to do, I always did the exact opposite. So when my mum told me to eat less, I ate more. When she told me to eat healthier, I ate junk food.
And of course I started to gain weight. I didn't care, cause I was happy of my rebellion. Then from slim I became normal, and from normal I became fat. I still didn't care, cause I also had a kind of punk period, and I thought that the ugliest I was, the better I could face the outer world. Cause no one would bother me and so.
When I was about 18 I really became overweight, and I started feeling bad about my body. So I began to hang out with fatter friends, I still didn't feel so fat among them, plus my face was still pretty and that was enough. My mum didn't care about my weight anymore, I think she had lost her hope of seing me with no fat, so I kept at a distance the only real support I had.
Growing up, I realized that she only wanted the best for her daughter.
After high school I went to university, I lost some weight during the first year... then I started gaining weight again, and I got at this point.
This is my second year at university, and I started feeling really bad about myself. I can't look into the mirror without feeling horrible, I don't want to take pics with my friends cause I'm afraid of seeing my real fat then! And I can't live with this horrible feeling anymore.
I've reached my highest weight last winter, I was 82 kg (180.8 lbs approximately) and I couldn't stand it anymore. I've been on a light diet for three months but it was too slow to lose weight (I lost 3 kg). Now I'm here, ready to do anything to not be overweight anymore!!